Do You Have the Displeased Face Disease?

Since I’ve been living in India for around six years now, I can see through the eyes of a local Indian how a typical Westerner looks like. And what I keep noticing is one attitude in Westerners that is extremely unattractive.

This attitude acts like a slow poison for all who come in touch with it. It’s the attitude that I like to call “The Displeased Face Disease”. It entraps almost all Westerners who are affluent enough to travel, frequent cafes and get the stuff that they want to get.

This insidious disease even has the children in its grip. It’s not uncommon for me to see a package holiday family sitting in a five star hotel’s restaurant all sullen for no real reason. It’s unpleasant and strange to see a face of a child that’s sulky to the degree that it looks old; what a contrast between them and the children of some poverty-stricken Indian parents who have nothing, yet have smiles from ear to ear.

And that’s what we lost in the West. This gratitude for what we have. So when a Westerner visits some developing country, the first thing she usually notices is the genuine smiles of people. That’s so attractive!  A genuine smile is the best beauty mark there is! The way such people smile is so different to the ego smiles of the West which are ephemeral and almost never absolute.

The causes of The Displeased Face Disease

This insidious disease comes as a result of…

1. Not appreciating what one has.
2. Not understanding what brings happiness.
3. Not studying one’s behaviour.
4. Failing to understand one’s position in life.

When you get to live in a developing country, you get to appreciate your financial status. Before you might have thought you had very little, but in comparison to the poor people of the developing world you come to know that you are quite affluent. So this makes you appreciate what you have, and it helps to wipe some of the displeasure off your face.

Also, when you understand that the things of the world should be used as tools and not as ends in themselves, you no longer expect them to bring satisfaction and this again serves as medicine to this insidious disease.

Furthermore, when you observe your behaviour and understand that the displeased face only makes other people unhappy and thus you become the cause of others’ misery and you poison your entire environment, this again helps to destroy some of this horrible attitude.

Lastly, when you no longer allow your ego woes to convince you how miserable you are but see the actual reality, and thus come to the conclusion that things are going quite well, this again helps to heal this disease.

This disease can be chronic!

It’s very, very hard for Westerners to remove this disease once and for all. I know it because I was fully down with this disease, and even now sometimes its ugly face reappears. Like it happened just today, when I thought I’m done with such an unwelcome attitude.

It happened in a café (in Nepal). I ordered latte and croissant with cheese, and then after some time another waiter came to deliver the latte in a cup, whilst I requested it to be in a take-away cup and served at the same time as the food.

So he went back to the kitchen and then I had to wait for quite a while for the food to arrive. I thought that maybe now the latte would be warm instead of hot, and this displeased me. So when he came back again, I was quite sullen and he saw it. I didn’t even thank him for delivering the order, nor did I look at him to acknowledge the delivered order.

When I was sipping the latte, I thought about what had happened. And I realized how foolish I was. It wasn’t that waiter’s fault in the first place, since it was another waiter that had taken my order and this one was just fulfilling it. In addition to this, this second waiter was always so nice and sweet to me every time I would go there. So it was absolutely not his fault, yet he had to suffer from my displeasure.

Having understood that I might have caused an innocent person some pain, I went and thanked him for the tasty food. I said it with a smile and warmth, and he was happy to see my changed attitude. Yet it would have been much better if I hadn’t been upset at him in the first place. It’s like punching a person in the face and then apologizing for it.

So sometimes I still get caught in this “Little Princess” syndrome. When I observe it in other Westerners, I see how ugly this makes them look. And so I know that I look exactly the same when I suffer from the bout of this disease.

It takes time to kill off this unwelcome attitude. And believe me, in the past I suffered from it a lot!

Constant awareness of one’s behaviour is a must to end this disease. In my example, if I would just continue with my food without reflecting on my behaviour, I would have never detected that I might have caused pain for another human being. And thus I would remain unaware that the disease is still present in me. It’s the awareness that destroys it, and that’s why you must remain a conscious witness to how you act.

Also, whenever you realize that you have or might have inflicted pain due to such an attitude, always straighten things out. Apologize, or at least make the person understand that they haven’t displeased you.

The reason I didn’t apologize but used this second strategy with regards to the waiter, was because I wasn’t sure if I upset him. Yet when I’m sure that I hurt someone, I always apologize. This is such a beautiful thing to do, and the ego really dislikes it, so it’s discouraged from allowing this disease to manifest.

So I hope that this article brought this attitude into your awareness in case it escaped your attention till now. It’s very, very prevalent in the West, especially among the people of well-to-do countries. It’s so prevalent that you might not even see it, and the reason I saw this “virus” was because I live in a developing country where most people don’t yet have such an illness, so the contrast between them and the Westerners is great in this regard.

Always be aware of the mentioned causes of this disease; also, know that the attitude of humility heals this disease. A human being looks so much more attractive when he is content and happy with the things he has or the circumstances he is in rather than displaying the “Little Me” whims like a little child.

You don’t have to be absolutely in love with your circumstances; but no need to display your displeasure. You can retain humility whilst working for bettering your lot – no need to display the attitude that poisons the people and the atmosphere around.

May this disease be successfully uprooted from you, if you are unfortunate enough to have contracted it!

Resource: simonarich.com